Aoife’s goodbye (ch42)

Chapter 42  de Clare/MacMurrough

Gilbert and Isabel’s first supper in the castle went surprisingly well. When everyone sat down you could feel the tension in the room. Strongbow was able to attend even though his leg was still painfully sore. With the help of a strong guard he was able to move about the castle quite well. After so much activity his leg was throbbing with pain, he simply ignored it and focused on Gilbert and Isabel.

  Aoife, William and Edward were also in attendance, but Strongbow’s attention was directed at Isabel.  He had spent the day with  her and Gilbert, getting to know them and talking about their lives. The last few hours were spent sitting in the garden with Gilbert alone, talking about all he had missed through the years. As he sat at the table gazing at them both he felt extremely joyful.

 

Isabel hadn’t changed much, aside from more self confidence she still had an incredible wit and had a perpetual positive outlook. This is what attracted her to him when they were young. She was from a very poor family but still had a great sense of self and determination. She never allowed herself to feel inferior to Richard even though his family owned all of the land. He snapped out of his reflection and realized he couldn’t keep from talking to her even though he was probably being rude to everyone else.

Aoife felt him ignoring her and began to feel a strange emotion she couldn’t identify. She had been sitting right next to him for an hour and he hadn’t looked her way more than once. She was used to being the focus of his attention even if it wasn’t always desired, which is why she couldn’t understand why she was feeling this way. Could it be jealousy, she thought. How could she be jealous if she loved Finn and couldn’t wait to be his wife now that the annulment was granted? She even felt herself start to anger as she thought back to all of the hours she had spent at his bedside out of obligation, and hours she could have spent with Finn and their newborn baby Lorcan. All of those long days and nights worrying were not even appreciated enough for even a few moments of his time.

  

As the evening progressed she began to notice the manor in which Strongbow was looking at Isabel. She recognized the gaze and knew at once that he must be attracted to her. Again, Aoife felt resentful. She knew at that moment that it was time to leave the castle and move in with her mother with baby Lorcan. The last week had been too difficult for her, the intense guilt she had experienced had taken a toll on her fragile state of mind. She was feeling unsure and confused, along with unfounded feelings of jealousy that she couldn’t admit to. She decided she would leave the following morning. She was sure William, Strongbow’s brother, would be happy to see her go especially after the fight that had occurred between them. She even felt that perhaps Strongbow wouldn’t mind either now that he had a new object of affection.

Isabel had noticed that Princess Aoife was out of sorts. She didn’t know her but she could tell something wasn’t right. She continued to enjoy herself and decided to ask Strongbow after supper about the situation. She felt comfortable asking since he had made it a point to create a relaxed environment for her and Gilbert. He had briefly mentioned her in conversation earlier but gave no details and changed the subject. She thought it odd that the Princess would be living in the King’s castle without any blood relation, and she knew she wasn’t involved with William for they barely spoke during the meal. She was very curious and determined to find out. Immediately following dinner, Strongbow was helped into the main hall and was seated on a bench to rest. Aoife appeared suddenly and began to talk of her plans to leave.

“Hello Aoife. How are you?” He asked her from a seated position as she stood over him. “What did you think of Isabel and Gilbert? Aren’t they wonderful? I am so blessed to have my son with me now.”

 “Yes Richard. They both seem very nice. I am happy for you. However, I do need to talk with you.” She said as she quickly changed the subject not wanting to spend any more time talking about Isabel. “About what? Is there a problem?” He asked as he furrowed his brow. “No not a problem. I have just decided that we will be leaving the castle to move in with with my mother.” She explained waiting for his response.

After a moment of thought he replied, “Well, I suppose I knew that would be the next step.” 

Finding herself feeling annoyed that he didn’t disagree or even sound disappointed, she took a second to calmly explain her reasons even though it was apparent that they weren’t needed. “You are better now and you don’t really need me here to help you any longer, so I thought it might be good if I left to give you time with Gilbert.” 

He then recalled all of the time she had spent with him when he was sick and felt that he should thank her. He had been so sidetracked that it slipped his mind. “Aoife, you know how grateful I am to have had you by my side. I can’t thank you enough. You are largely responsible for saving my life.” He said sincerely.

 

 She felt slightly better now that he was back to displaying a kindly manner towards her. “I hardly think I helped save your life. I think the doctors and God had more to do with it than I.” She said bashfully. “When will you be leaving?” He asked quickly. 

“I am having my belongings packed as we speak. Lorcan and I will be gone by morning.” She said as she looked away. His kindness was short lived and she was feeling hurt by his disinterest, although for the life of her she couldn’t understand why. 

“I suppose you and Finn will be naming a day to be married?” He asked reluctantly, still feeling a bit of a sting from the thought. 

“Oh yes, as soon as we can. It will be small though. I don’t really want to draw much attention to it after everything that has happened.” She explained quickly, not wanting to discuss the details of the past. 

“Well I wish you luck and many blessings. I will miss you Aoife.” He said genuinely, still feeling the ache in his heart for her, although it seemed less painful than before.

  “Thank you Richard. I am sorry for everything that has happened. I was not good to you and I will always feel guilty about that.” She said with tears welling. 

“Lets not talk about it. The less said the better for us both.” He said as she grabbed her hand. “I will always care for you and will be here if you need me.” 

With tears in her eyes she backed away slowly. She then saw Isabel coming into the hall, and rushed past her only nodding politely.  

When Strongbow saw Isabel his face lit up. He was feeling relieved that he wasn’t experiencing the devastation he thought he would feel the day Aoife would leave for good. He had always imagined this day as an end, but now he had so much to look forward to that it felt like a beginning.