A Clean Conscience (ch9)

 Chapter 9 Donnely/MacNamara

As Michan stared with an open mouth at Eamon’s body lying on the ground, he began to feel sick to his stomach. He glanced at Ryanne and saw the horrified look on her face. Looks of confusion occupied both of their eyes. 

“Hello Michan” The doctor said sadly as he walked towards him. “I didn’t know you knew Eamon. I’m sorry you walked in on this. Perhaps you should take Ryanne outside. Would you like me to send for your father Ryanne? I have just sent for the priest.” 

The doctor was being very kind and sympathetic, not realizing that a fight had ensued here last night with Michan causing Eamon to hit his head. Michan couldn’t answer the doctor for he couldn’t yet speak. Ryanne managed a few words. 

“No thank you, I will send for him myself.” She replied slowly, her voice quivering as she began to tremble. She couldn’t break her stare, it was like a nightmare she couldn’t wake up from. Michan had walked to her and placed his hands on her shoulders trying to guide her out of the room. The doctor had summoned a messenger to bring back the appropriate person to take the body. This would be done after the priest had arrived. 

While outside Ryanne saw Ciaren playing in the grass with Almaith, who had found out what had happened. Ryanne walked to Ciaren and saw Eamon’s likeness in her hair and face. Tears came to her eyes as she thought of Ciaren losing her father at such an early age.  

Seeing Ryanne’s tears shattered Michan. He knew he was ultimately the reason he was dead. He didn’t cause him to die but he did cause him to fall and that was enough to paralyze Michan with immeasurable guilt.  

“I am sorry Ryanne.” Michan whispered as he tried to comfort her. “I didn’t mean for this to happen, I don’t know what to do.” 

“It isn’t your fault, you are not to blame.” She said as she wiped the tears from her face. “You aren’t going to do anything Michan, the doctor says it is an accident, which it really was.” 

“I need to tell him what happened. I can’t lie about this, and not saying anything is still lying.” He answered in a loud whisper.

 “Please Michan. You may get into trouble. They don’t know the details and might not believe your version. If what Eamon said is true about what people are saying about us, then this looks very bad.” She whispered firmly pleading with him. 

“Ryanne they will understand. It needs to be done.” He said decisively, looking around for the doctor. “I can’t lose you Michan, please let this stay the way it is. Eamon started the violence. Who knows what he may have done to me in his drunken state.” Ryanne said with tears forming in her eyes. 

“How could I live with myself?  You can’t ask me to keep this buried inside. I need to explain the circumstances, whatever happens we’ll deal with it.” He answered firmly, leaving her to find the doctor.

 Out of the corner of her eye she saw a young woman running to the cottage at a frantic pace. When she reached the door she went straight in and ran to Eamon, crying the whole way. Ryanne went towards the door to see who the woman was when she realized that it was the pub owner’s daughter, the girl who gave birth to Eamon’s baby. The girl was in despair and Ryanne felt for her. She obviously loved Eamon. The doctor ran in and tried to pull the girl away from Eamon, all the while looking at Ryanne with a sympathetic expression. “Let’s go Eilis, this isn’t where you should be right now. You are going to upset Eamon’s wife.”“I don’t care! He didn’t love her, he loved me! Look at her, she isn’t even crying!” She yelled pointing at Ryanne standing in the doorway as the doctor led her firmly out of the room. “Wait, she is right. Let her say her goodbyes. She should have her time with him.” Ryanne said quietly, feeling slightly embarrassed. The doctor let her go and they both walked out of the house to give her privacy in her final moments with Eamon.  

“Not many wives would do that Ryanne.” He said as he shook his head and walked away to meet Father Flanagan who had come to bless Eamon. 

Michan saw Ryanne and looked at her sadly. He had seen what had happened and felt terrible for her. How hard it must have been for her all this time, he thought. Ryanne had walked over to Ciaren and was holding her close. He could tell she was trying to keep from crying. 

As soon as the doctor was done talking with the priest, Michan walked over to him to relay what had actually happened that night. His heart began to pound and he saw Ryanne watching intently. She put Ciaren down and walked over as well. 

“I need to speak with you.” Michan said to him taking a deep breath. 

“What is the problem Michan?” He said with a concerned expression. He could tell something was on his mind. 

“I need to tell you what really happened last night.” He said, waiting to see a response from him. “We were here last night, Ryanne and I. My daughter was here as well. We were all having supper together.” 

“I don’t understand. So you already knew that he had fallen?” He replied questioningly. 

“Well, not exactly. Eamon had come into the house drunk and violent. He was going to hurt Ryanne so I stepped in to try and get him to stop and…I hit him. He fell to the ground, but he seemed okay.” Michan explained slowly. 

“So you left? That is why you both looked so surprised.” The doctor asked.

 “I thought he would sleep off his drunkenness and she would return in the morning when he wasn’t so threatening. I didn’t know anything like this could happen.” Michan said genuinely.

The doctor knew that he was being honest. He had known him for many years, and knew that he had a good reputation in the village as well as around the kingdom. 

“Well Michan, this information will have to be documented and I am sure someone will be asking more questions. What a terrible thing to happen.” He said shaking his head and walking away. 

At that moment Eamon’s body was being carried out through the side door, thankfully out of Ciaren’s sight. Eilis was still crying as she walked alongside the men carrying him. Ryanne just looked away. She wasn’t sure what to feel. She was never happy being Eamon’s wife but she didn’t want him dead. A whole wave of emotions passed through her as she watched them lower his body into the cart.  She decided to walk into the house for a few moments alone.

Ciaren was happily playing with Almaith, and Michan could only watch as Ryanne made her way inside. She didn’t make eye contact with him so he thought she may want a few minutes alone. Once she was inside their cottage she looked around and saw Eamon’s things strewn about. She couldn’t help but question why her marriage couldn’t work. Eilis loved Eamon and the feelings were most likely mutual since he spent most every night with her. Was it something about her that he couldn’t love?